Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.

Young people who commit serious crimes punished same way as adults - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 8 ยท 270 words.

There is an ongoing debate as to whether minors who commit serious crimes should receive the same punishment as adults. While some argue that this would serve as a valuable lesson and help them understand the consequences of their actions, I completely disagree, as young people differ fundamentally from adults in terms of their mental development and possess a high capacity for rehabilitation.

To begin with, adolescents are not fully mature, particularly in terms of decision-making and impulse control. As a result, they are more likely to act recklessly without fully considering the long-term consequences of their behaviour. This means that their level of responsibility should not be equated with that of adults, who are generally expected to possess a higher degree of self-control and awareness. For instance, young individuals often act impulsively without carefully thinking through their actions.

Furthermore, young offenders are far more responsive to rehabilitation measures. With proper education, counselling, and social support, many of them are able to reintegrate into society and lead law-abiding lives. In contrast, exposing minors to the adult prison system can be highly detrimental, as it may increase the likelihood of reoffending by placing them in a negative and often violent environment. For example, many young offenders later reconsider their actions and genuinely regret their behaviour when given appropriate guidance.

In conclusion, although punishing young people in the same way as adults may seem justified in certain cases, I contend that this approach is neither fair nor effective. Young offenders should instead be given the opportunity to reform, as their developmental stage and potential for change clearly distinguish them from adult criminals.

Examiner feedback

This is an excellent essay that clearly states its position and supports it with coherent, well-reasoned arguments. The language is precise and natural, showing a high level of proficiency in both grammar and vocabulary, and the essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt.

Task Response - 8

- The essay fully addresses all parts of the task by clearly stating a position and supporting it with two main arguments. - The ideas are relevant and well-developed, with a clear focus on the distinction between minors and adults. - The position is maintained throughout the essay with a clear conclusion provided.

Coherence & Cohesion - 8

- The essay shows a logical progression of ideas with a clear central topic in each paragraph. - Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'For instance' are used effectively to link ideas. - Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct arguments regarding maturity and rehabilitation.

Lexical Resource - 8

- A wide range of vocabulary is used with sophistication and precision (e.g., 'impulse control', 'reintegrate', 'rehabilitate'). - The language is natural and appropriate for an academic context. - Collocations are accurate and contribute to the fluent flow of the writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 8

- The essay demonstrates a wide range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences used with high accuracy. - Grammatical control is consistent throughout the response, with no significant errors. - Punctuation is used correctly to support the clarity of the arguments.

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