Once children start school, teachers become a more important influence on children's intellectual and social development than parents.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Once children start school, teachers become a more important influence on children's intellectual and social development than parents.

Teachers become more important influence on children intellectual and social development than parents - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 6.5 · 387 words.

Upon entering primary school, teachers take the responsibility from parents in shaping a childs' future in terms of education and social life. While I do agree that school instructors play a pivotal role in shaping a childs' knowledge, parental influence is far greater than teachers in terms of behaviour, and morality.

Educators provide controlled environment to help children socialize and build knowledge. They help children develop cognitive abilities such as critical thinking, mathematics, and various other subjects. These academic principles help children to trigger their interest, thereby allowing children across various backgrounds to pursue a career across many professional fields. In addition, teachers guide children to collaborate with each other, fostering a sense of companionship—a principle crucial not be neglected. These relationships, could, in the future decide their social well-being, build strong social cohesion, and healthy community .For example, young individuals struggling with their academic pursuits could seek guidance from teachers, which is a common habit where parents alone cannot provide.

However, parents are far more superior in building a healthy child. Children are often inclined to repeat the behaviour of a parent while they are under one roof. For instance, they tend to perform various habits of parents by mimicking them, including communication, behaviour and character. Such behaviours decide a child's future, helping them to distinguish bad with good in a world with full of uncertainty. On a broader level, depending on the characteristics they develop, society could benefit too in terms of building a healthy community, in addition to fostering a sense of responsibility,

Despite these benefits, parents provide an unconditional love where no other individual, including teachers can replicate. As children grow, they often experience various challenges in life, such as misunderstanding with peers, loss of motivation to push forward, and anxiety which occurs during their academic life. In such cases, teachers may not necessarily be able to provide guidance, except for parents. During these situations, parents provide wisdom, encourage them to thrive towards their goal while ensuring a sense of security during their transition to adulthood.

In conclusion, while teachers are in certain cases alternative role-models to children, be it education, career preparation, and provide a safe-space in a world full of noise, parents are often the sole reason for a child personality and character. They play fundamentally different, but equally vital roles.

Examiner feedback

The essay provides a well-structured and balanced argument that clearly differentiates between the roles of educators and parents. While the vocabulary is varied and the logic is sound, the final score is held back by frequent minor grammatical slips and punctuation inconsistencies.

Task Response - 7

- The response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout. - Main ideas are presented and supported, particularly regarding the different roles teachers and parents play. - The argument occasionally borders on over-generalization (e.g., suggesting parents are the 'sole reason' for character), but it remains relevant to the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion - 7

- Information and ideas are organized logically with a clear progression throughout the essay. - Each paragraph focuses on a distinct central topic (academic influence vs. behavioral/emotional influence). - Cohesive devices like 'However', 'In addition', and 'Despite these benefits' are used effectively, though some transitions between sentences are slightly mechanical.

Lexical Resource - 7

- The candidate uses a sufficient range of vocabulary (e.g., 'pivotal role', 'social cohesion', 'unconditional love') to allow for flexibility and precision. - There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'perform various habits' instead of 'adopt habits' or 'far more superior'. - Spelling is generally accurate, though minor errors like 'childs'' persist.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 6

- A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used, but errors in grammar and punctuation occur frequently. - Issues with articles ('a world with full of uncertainty') and plural/possessive forms ('childs' future', 'a child personality') are present. - Punctuation errors, such as misplaced commas after 'could' or missing spaces after periods, occasionally disrupt the flow.

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