School teaching should focus on success on the workforce and less attention should be given to academic achievement,

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. School teaching should focus on success on the workforce and less attention should be given to academic achievement,

School teaching should focus on success in the workforce over academic achievement - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 6.5 ยท 254 words.

Focusing on success in the workforce is an effective method. However, there is a contention over whether school programs should concentrate on the workforce and less attention should be credited to academic achievement.

I believe that students should acquire education concentrated on success in the workforce, as this will provide useful practice before they go on to be admitted to work, and also help develop a range of skills, which are essential in the world of work.

Perhaps the main reason why education should match real-world needs is that it provides useful practice for students. When students learn information based on their future occupation, it prepares them better for the challenges they may face in the workplace. This can be exemplified in the research led by Harvard University, which suggests that practical education improves students' employability and readiness for future careers. Therefore, I totally agree with the claim that educational facilities should prioritize achievement in the workforce over academic performance.

Besides these, I firmly believe that it also develops a range of vital skills. Since the modern workforce demands a variety of skills, students should be equipped with digital literacy, problem-solving, and comprehensive skills before entering employment. This view was also supported by Harvard University, which proposed that employers increasingly value practical skills. Thus, focusing on workforce-related skills enables students to be more valuable in today's workforce.

In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement and contend that useful practice and forming skills can be much more efficient, rather than focusing on academic performance.

Examiner feedback

The essay presents a clear and well-structured argument in favor of vocational/workforce training. While the grammatical control and organization are strong (Band 7), the vocabulary range is slightly more limited and repetitive (Band 6), leading to an overall score that reflects a solid but somewhat formulaic response.

Task Response - 7

- Addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. - Main ideas are extended and supported, though the support relies heavily on generic references to 'Harvard University'. - The response is well-developed but could benefit from addressing the 'less attention to academic achievement' aspect more critically.

Coherence & Cohesion - 7

- Information is organized logically with a clear progression from the introduction to the conclusion. - Each paragraph has a clear central topic supported by relevant arguments. - Cohesive devices such as 'Besides these' and 'Thus' are used appropriately, though 'Besides these' is slightly informal for this context.

Lexical Resource - 6

- Uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'employability' and 'digital literacy'. - Some repetition of words and phrases from the prompt (e.g., 'success in the workforce'). - Some word choices are slightly imprecise, such as using 'credited' instead of 'given' or 'forming skills' instead of 'developing skills'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 7

- Uses a variety of complex structures with frequent error-free sentences. - Good control of grammar and punctuation throughout the essay. - There are minor awkward phrasings like 'should be credited to' or 'comprehensive skills' which do not significantly impede communication.

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