More and more people move away from family and friends for working.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. More and more people move away from family and friends for working.

More more people move away from family friends working - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 8 · 256 words.

In recent years, an increasing number of people have been living away from their family and friends due to work commitments. This trend has both positive and negative implications, and it is important to evaluate whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

One significant advantage of working away from home is the opportunity for career advancement and higher income. Many individuals relocate to cities or even different countries where job prospects are better, allowing them to gain valuable experience and improve their financial stability. This can lead to a better quality of life for themselves and their families in the long run. Additionally, living independently fosters personal growth, self-reliance, and adaptability, which are essential skills in today’s competitive world.

However, the disadvantages of being separated from loved ones are considerable. Emotional support from family and friends plays a crucial role in mental well-being, and its absence can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Moreover, physical distance may weaken relationships over time, as opportunities for shared experiences and communication become limited. This can affect not only the individual but also their family members, especially children and elderly parents who may require care and attention.

In conclusion, while working away from family and friends offers clear professional and financial benefits, the emotional and social costs cannot be ignored. Whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages depends largely on individual circumstances, such as the strength of personal relationships and the ability to maintain contact despite distance. Overall, a balanced approach that considers both career goals and family ties is essential.

Examiner feedback

This is a very strong Band 8.0 essay. It is characterized by high grammatical precision, a logical structure, and a clear, well-developed argument. To reach Band 9.0, the writer should focus on more nuanced development of ideas and more sophisticated, less formulaic cohesive devices.

Task Response - 8

- The essay sufficiently addresses all parts of the task by exploring both the benefits and drawbacks of moving away for work. - A clear position is maintained throughout, concluding that the outcome depends on individual circumstances. - Ideas are relevant and well-supported, although further specific examples could have bolstered the depth of the argument.

Coherence & Cohesion - 8

- Information and ideas are sequenced logically with a clear progression from the introduction to the conclusion. - Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct central topic (advantages vs. disadvantages). - Cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively, though they are somewhat standard.

Lexical Resource - 8

- The vocabulary used is both fluent and flexible, conveying precise meanings with terms like 'financial stability', 'fosters personal growth', and 'emotional support'. - There is a good awareness of collocation and style (e.g., 'career advancement', 'mental well-being'). - Spelling and word formation are accurate throughout.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 8

- A wide range of structures is used with high accuracy, including complex sentences and various verb tenses. - The majority of sentences are error-free, demonstrating a high level of control over grammar and punctuation. - The use of relative clauses and conditional structures contributes to the sophistication of the writing.

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