Too much emphasis is given for education for the young. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Too much emphasis is given for education for the young. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people.

Government money spent on free time activities for young people - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 6.5 ยท 278 words.

It is often argued that rather than investing heavily in education system, they should be spent on recreational activities for adolescents. Although i considered free-time activities to be crucial, i firmly disagree with this opinion that the government's budget should not be diverted away from education. This essay will explain why i disagree before reaching the conclusion.

On the one hand, there are clear benefits to investing in free-time activities for young people. When governments create sport clubs and community centers, youngsters have a chance to go and enjoy after hectic day, thereby reducing rates of boredom-driven crime. With teenagers spending more time on structured recreational programs, they are able to gain teamwork and social skills which are pivotal in their long term. Furthermore, visiting these kind of entertaining centers can avoid mental-health-related problems which are stemming from academic pressure. As a result, young people are more likely to be productive in their workplaces or studies.

On the other hand, education should remain far more critical to the overall well-being of both individuals and society. By spending adequately on schools and universities, students are equipped with qualifications which are needed to their employments in the future. Consequently, this drives economic growth and reduces poverty nationwide. This can be clearly observedin South Korea and Finland, since these nations have consistently prioritized education spending, improving both literacy rates and technical skills, they have achieved remarkable gains in innovation and productivity.

In conclusion, despite recreational programs offer genuine benefits for young people's mental health, i believe education should continue to receive the greater share of government funding, since it has a more far-reaching impact on individuals and community as a whole.

Examiner feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt, maintaining a consistent position while addressing both sides of the argument. While the vocabulary and grammar are adequate for a Band 6/7 level, minor mechanical errors and occasional awkward phrasing prevent it from reaching a higher band.

Task Response - 7

- Addresses all parts of the task by discussing both viewpoints and clearly stating a position - Presents well-developed main ideas with relevant supporting points and examples - Position is maintained clearly throughout the essay, though conclusion can be slightly refined

Coherence & Cohesion - 7

- Logically organises information with a clear overall progression and distinct paragraphing - Uses cohesive devices appropriately, though some minor mechanical transitions occur - Clear central topics within each paragraph with adequate referencing

Lexical Resource - 6

- Uses an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary for the task - Attempts less common lexical items with occasional slight inaccuracies in collocation or word choice - Spelling and word formation are generally accurate, with minor capitalization issues for personal pronouns

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 6

- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms effectively - Makes some grammatical errors, such as pronoun reference mismatches and minor preposition slips - Good overall control of sentence structures with occasional punctuation issues

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