Some people think that governments should change the way individuals live, while others believe they should choose the way themselves.
Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. Some people think that governments should change the way individuals live, while others believe they should choose the way themselves.
Government Change Individuals Way of Living vs Personal Freedom - IELTS Writing Task 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Discuss these both points of view and give your opinion?
Write at least 250 words.
A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it
Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 6.5 ยท 253 words.
In today's globalized world, individuals have different beliefs about whether governments should influence the way of people's live or whether people should be free to make their own lifestyle choices. This essay will examine both perspectives before explaining why balance between government intervantion and personal freedom is essential.
On the one hand, when authorities handle the way of people's live, it is easy to protect public health and safety by restricting smoking, alcohol consumption or unhealthy diets, this is mainly because many people do not always make responsible decision. As a result, governments often introduce laws and regulations to encourage healthier lifestyles. For example, high taxes on cigarettes and banning on smoking on public places. Similarly, traffic regulations such as speed limits and mandatory seat belts help prevent accidents and save lives in a long run. Therefore, government involvement can significantly improve the well-being of society.
On the other hand, many people believe that individuals should be free to make their own lifestyle choices. Personal freedom is a fundamental right in modern societies, and people should not be forced to live according to government preferences. Individuals have different values, cultures, and priorities, which means a lifestyle suit one person not be fit for another. Excessive government control also lead to dissatisfaction and limit personal independence. For instance, decisions in terms of clothing, diet, hobbies and leisure activities should remain private matters rather than being regulated by authorities.
In conclusion, although government regulation can help healthier and safer society, personal freedom should be respected.
Examiner feedback
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives and providing a clear stance. While the organization and task fulfillment are strong (Band 7), the overall score is tempered by recurring grammatical slips and limited lexical variety (Band 6). Improving accuracy in basic grammar and refining word choice will elevate the score.
Task Response - 7
- All parts of the task are addressed, and a clear position is established in the introduction. - Main ideas are relevant and supported with specific examples like smoking bans and seat belt laws. - The conclusion is somewhat brief and could more effectively synthesize the argument for the 'balance' mentioned in the introduction.
Coherence & Cohesion - 7
- Paragraphs are logically organized around the two opposing viewpoints with a clear introductory and concluding frame. - Uses standard cohesive devices effectively (e.g., 'On the one hand', 'Similarly', 'As a result') to signal transitions. - Progression of ideas is generally clear, though the link between some sentences could be smoothed by better referencing.
Lexical Resource - 6
- Uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the topic, such as 'government intervention' and 'fundamental right'. - Spelling errors are present (e.g., 'intervantion') and some collocations are slightly unnatural (e.g., 'handle the way of people's live'). - The range is sufficient for the task but lacks the sophisticated precision required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 6
- Demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but accuracy is inconsistent. - Frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'control also lead') and noun pluralization (e.g., 'responsible decision'). - Some structures are awkward or missing essential verbs (e.g., 'a lifestyle suit one person not be fit for another').
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