In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes.

Practice this IELTS Writing Task 2 question on IELTSX. In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes.

Children and teenagers committing more crimes reasons and punishment - IELTS Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Why is this happening? How should they be punished?

Write at least 250 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 7 ยท 309 words.

Nowadays, due to the high level of crimes commited by youngsters, there has been an ongoing debate on what are the causes of this trend and in which ways children should be punished for their actions. Personally, it is my firm conviction that the roots of this problem lie in social inequality and voilent content online. Regarding punishment, I believe rehabilitation would be far more conducive; however, for particularly serious crimes, stricter sentencing should be firmly enforced.

There are several deeply compelling reasons why crime rates among young generation have witnessed a dramatic increase in recent years. First and foremost, violent content across social media platforms has normalised aggression among the teenagers. Young people are increasingly exposed to criminal culture online, and without adequate parental oversight, they are vulnerable, indeed, to be influenced by the following content. Furthermore, entrenched poverty and inequality also play a considerable role. Those raised in socioeconomically deprived environments have far fewer opportunities and are, therefore, considerably more likely to turn to crime as a means of survival.

Considering how young offenders should be punished, rehabilitation must be prioritised over harsh punitive measures. Community service, counselling, and structured educational programmes, for instance, have been proven to yield considerably more measurable results in reducing youth reoffending rates. That said, parents of young offenders must also be held legally accountable for their children's behavior, such a measure would contribute to more responsible parenting and address the key causes of juvenile crime rather than merely its symptoms. For particularly serious violent offences, however, meaningful consequences remain an absolute necessity, as excessively light punishment fails to act as an adequate deterrent.

All things considered, the main reasons of children being inclined to commitiong crimes are social inequality and vulnerable content. In terms of punishing, I consider rehabilitation more appropriate, yet stricter sentencing should be enforced in more serious situations.

Examiner feedback

This is a well-structured and insightful essay that addresses all components of the task with a balanced and mature perspective. While there are minor spelling and minor grammatical slips, the depth of argument and range of vocabulary are high enough to place it firmly in the Band 7 range.

Task Response - 8

- The essay fully addresses both parts of the prompt: causes of crime and methods of punishment. - The position is clear throughout, and arguments are well-supported with relevant examples and reasoning. - Idea development is thorough, offering a nuanced perspective on rehabilitation versus sentencing.

Coherence & Cohesion - 7

- Paragraphs are clearly demarcated and follow a logical progression. - Cohesive devices such as 'first and foremost', 'furthermore', and 'that said' are used effectively to guide the reader. - The essay maintains a consistent focus throughout, although some linking phrases are slightly repetitive.

Lexical Resource - 7

- Demonstrates a strong range of vocabulary with terms like 'entrenched poverty', 'socioeconomically deprived', and 'punitive measures'. - Some minor spelling errors ('commited', 'voilent', 'commitiong') and word choice issues ('vulnerable content' instead of 'violent content'). - Uses collocations effectively, though with occasional slips.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 7

- Displays a variety of complex structures including conditional and passive forms. - Occasional minor errors such as 'young generation' (missing 'the') and 'vulnerable content' (wrong word choice). - Punctuation is generally accurate and supports the flow of the argument.

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