The table below shows the percentage of working men and women in different areas of employment in one country in 1986, 1996 and 2006.

Percentage Working Men and Women Different Areas Employment 1986 1996 2006 - IELTS Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 8 · 264 words.

The table illustrates how the percentage of men and women working in four different areas of employment changed in a particular country between 1986 and 2006.

Overall, it is clear that the employment rate among both genders increased notably, with the exception of the manufacturing industry, where the figures fell significantly, despite initially being popular particularly among men. While men mostly worked in catering, education was popular among women throughout the period.

Regarding the noticeable changes, the manufacturing industry experienced a dramatic decline in the employment rate. Starting at 32% and 18% respectively, these figures decreased notably to 21% for the former and 12% for the latter. From that year onwards, the percentage of men fell moderately to 17%, which was substantially lower compared to women, where the employment rate halved to 6%.

Conversely, banking recorded the largest growth with the figures of men increasing modestly from 11% to 20% in 1996 and rising further to 21% over the subsequent decades, whereas this increase was more pronounced among women, recording a moderate growth from 12% to 16% and finishing the period at 19%.

In stark contrast, catering and education recorded minor changes over the two decades. While the men's employment rate in catering rose slightly from 16% to 22% in 1996 and remained stable until the end of the timeframe, for women this figure remained relatively unchanged. Likewise, education had the highest figure of women employees and the figure grew modestly from 33% to 38% throughout the period, while men recorded a slight growth, with the employment rate increasing marginally from 13% to 15%.

Examiner feedback

This is a high-quality response that demonstrates a strong command of the language and a clear understanding of the task. The data is accurately represented, and the comparison between men and women across different sectors is consistently well-managed.

Task Achievement - 8

- All requirements of the task are met, with a clear overview identifying the general decline in manufacturing and growth elsewhere. - Key features are skillfully selected and highlighted, with accurate data points provided for all sectors and years. - The comparison between genders is consistently maintained throughout the response.

Coherence & Cohesion - 8

- Information is logically organized by sector, which allows for clear comparison between categories. - Cohesive devices such as 'Conversely', 'In stark contrast', and 'Likewise' are used effectively to signal transitions. - Paragraphing is appropriate and creates a clear progression from the overview to detailed data.

Lexical Resource - 8

- A wide range of vocabulary is used to convey precise meanings (e.g., 'dramatic decline', 'halved', 'pronounced'). - Lexical items are used skillfully with good awareness of collocation (e.g., 'recorded the largest growth', 'remained relatively unchanged'). - Minor inaccuracies in word choice are very rare.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 8

- A wide range of structures is used with flexibility and accuracy, including complex sentence forms and comparative structures. - The majority of sentences are error-free; punctuation is managed well throughout. - Minor issues with prepositional phrases (e.g., 'subsequent decades' instead of 'subsequent decade') do not impede communication.

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