The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school in 1980, 1990, and 2000.

Australian School Leavers Activity 1980 1990 2000 - IELTS Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 8 · 194 words.

The pie charts illustrate how the percentage of students who were employed, unemployed or pursuing further education after leaving secondary school changed in 1980, 1990 and 2000.

Overall, it can be observed that the percentage of employed students increased noticeably throughout the period, whereas the reverse was true for students pursuing further education, where the figures decreased significantly. In contrast, the percentage of unemployed students fluctuated over the timeframe and exhibited the lowest percentages.

The percentage of employed students grew gradually over the two decades. Starting at 40% in 1980, the figure increased sharply to 50% in 1990 and further grew to 55% at the end of the period.

By contrast, the percentage of students who chose further education followed an opposite pattern, where the figure fell noticeably throughout the timeframe. Accounting for half of the chart in 1980, this percentage fell to 38% over the decade before further decreasing negligibly to 37% in 2000.

Conversely, the percentage of unemployed students exhibited a modest fluctuation. Beginning at 10% in 1980, this figure increased modestly to 12% in 1990 before finishing the period with a slight fall to 8% at the end of the timeframe.

Examiner feedback

This is an exceptionally strong response that clearly and accurately describes the data provided. The writing is fluent, the structure is logical, and the data selection is highly relevant. To move to a Band 9, you could aim for even more sophisticated data synthesis and minor stylistic refinements.

Task Achievement - 8

- The response covers all requirements of the task by reporting the three categories across all three years. - A clear overview is provided, identifying the main trends for employment, education, and unemployment. - Key features are highlighted with accurate data support (40%, 50%, 55%, etc.).

Coherence & Cohesion - 8

- Paragraphing is well-managed with a logical structure (introduction, overview, and specific data points grouped by category). - Cohesive devices like "In contrast", "By contrast", and "Conversely" are used effectively to signal transitions. - Information is sequenced logically, making the description very easy to follow.

Lexical Resource - 8

- Vocabulary is varied and precise, using terms like "fluctuated", "negligibly", and "exhibited". - Collocations are natural (e.g., "followed an opposite pattern", "noticeably throughout the timeframe"). - Effective use of synonyms prevents repetition (e.g., "students pursuing further education" vs "chose further education").

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 8

- A wide range of structures is used accurately, including participial phrases ("Starting at...", "Accounting for...") and complex sentence structures. - Grammar and punctuation are highly controlled with almost no errors. - Tense usage is consistent and appropriate for describing historical data.

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