The graph below shows the sales of five types of items in four different seasons at a department store in the US in 2011

Five Item Sales Four Seasons US Department Store 2011 Bar Chart - IELTS Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 7 · 186 words.

The bar chart demonstrates the percentage of males who watch various sports compared ro those who actively participate in them.

The general trend that for most sports, spectatorship is more common than participation. Fishing stands out as the significant exception, where active involvement far exceeds the number of viewers.

Football display the most substantial disparity in favor of spectators (40% watching versus rougly 11 % participating ). Conversely, fishing shows the opposite extreme, with a 37% difference in favor of participants. In rugby and horse riding the proportion of viewers consistently outweighs participants by a margin of roughly 10% to 15%The Participation Paradox: In stark contrast to the other categories, fishing is the most practiced activity, with half of the surveyed demographic participating. Interestingly, it is the least popular to watch, garnering only 13% of spectator interest. This represents the widest disparity shown in the data, albeit in favor of active involvement

Overall, the chart highlights that while most sports are primarily spectator-driven, with football being the most popular to watch, fishing serves as a unique exception where active participation is the dominant form of engagement.

Examiner feedback

This is a strong response that demonstrates high-level vocabulary and a clear ability to analyze trends. To reach a higher band, the writer must ensure every sentence is grammatically complete and avoid using non-academic formatting like sub-headings.

Task Achievement - 7

- The response presents a clear overview that identifies the main trends (spectatorship vs. participation) and the primary exception (fishing). - Key features are clearly highlighted and supported with data points (40%, 11%, 37%). - There is a slight mismatch between the provided task description (Sales in 2011) and the student's response (Sports participation); however, the response itself is well-developed based on the sports data described.

Coherence & Cohesion - 7

- Information is logically organized into paragraphs that follow a clear progression from general trends to specific anomalies. - Cohesive devices such as 'Conversely,' 'In stark contrast,' and 'Overall' are used effectively to guide the reader. - The inclusion of a heading ('The Participation Paradox') is inappropriate for an academic report and slightly disrupts the professional format.

Lexical Resource - 8

- The writer uses a wide range of sophisticated vocabulary with precision ('disparity,' 'garnering,' 'demographic,' 'stark contrast'). - Lexical control is strong, showing an awareness of style and academic collocations. - Occasional typos ('ro' instead of 'to', 'rougly' instead of 'roughly') are minor and do not impede communication.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 6

- There is a good mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a high level of grammatical range. - Accuracy is compromised by a sentence fragment in the second paragraph ('The general trend that...') which lacks a main verb. - Subject-verb agreement errors are present, specifically 'Football display' instead of 'Football displays'.

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