The table below gives information about employment patterns for men and women in New Zealand in two separate years.

Employment Patterns Men Women New Zealand Two Years Table - IELTS Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 8.5 · 155 words.

The table shows the percentages of male and female workers employed in six different sectors in 1993 and 2003.

Overall, women mainly worked in services and transport in both years, while men were more concentrated in agriculture and business. Over the period, employment in business and social services increased for both genders, whereas agriculture and manufacturing declined.

In 1993, more than half of the female workforce was employed in services and transport, compared with only 22% of men. Manufacturing was also a major sector for women at 25%, while agriculture was the largest employer of men, at 38%. Very few women worked in business and building at that time.

By 2003, the proportion of women in services and transport fell to 36%, although it remained the largest sector for females. Business employment rose significantly for both men and women, reaching 25% and 22% respectively. In contrast, agriculture dropped sharply for men, falling to just 8%.

Examiner feedback

This is an exceptionally strong response that demonstrates a high level of control over English. To reach a Band 9, ensure that every category mentioned in your overview is supported with at least one specific data point in the body paragraphs to provide a fully comprehensive report.

Task Achievement - 8

- The response covers all the requirements of the task, providing a clear overview and highlighting key features. - It successfully identifies the main trends (increases in business and services) and contrasts the two years. - While the main sectors are covered, some specific figures for 'Social Services' mentioned in the overview are not detailed in the body paragraphs, which prevents a Band 9.

Coherence & Cohesion - 9

- The message can be followed effortlessly with a very logical progression from the introduction to the overview and then the specific time periods. - Cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'reaching', and 'respectively' are used naturally and effectively. - Paragraphing is skillfully managed, separating the general trends from the specific chronological data.

Lexical Resource - 8

- A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately (e.g., 'concentrated in', 'declined', 'proportion', 'rose significantly'). - Lexical choices are precise and appropriate for an academic report. - There are no spelling or word formation errors.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 9

- The response uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and control. - Sentences are error-free, utilizing complex structures such as 'By 2003, the proportion of women... fell to 36%, although it remained...'. - Punctuation is used correctly throughout.

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