The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

Birth Death Rates New Zealand 1901-2101 Line Graph - IELTS Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 7.5 · 221 words.

The line graph compares variations in the birth and death rates in New Zealand across two centuries, starting with 1901.

Overall, it is clear that both death and birth rates witnessed an upward trend throughout the timeframe, albeit with some fluctuations and declines. Notably, it is also anticipated that around 2041 onwards, the death rate will exceed the birth rate, leading to natural population decrease.

In 1901, birth rate stood at about 20,000 and it oscillated within the range of 25,000 to 30,000 by 1941 before soaring, despite significant fluctuations in 1961. In this year, the figure reached the chart-high level, but it went up slightly to around 60,000 between 1981 and 2001, after dropping to approximately 50,000 in 1981. After a 20-year period, the birth rate stood at just over 50,000, following a period of moderate fluctuation respectively. It is predicted that the figure will show a gradual fall by 2101, accounting for roughly 40,000.

Regarding the mortality rate, it began at just below 10,000 at the outset, and then, edging up to nearly 20,000 around 1921, almost tripled by 2001, though minor oscillations. Then the figure surged from 2001 to 2021 and is anticipated to continue to rise steadily to approximately 60,000. Thereafter, it is forecast to remain relatively stable before ending the period at about 57,000.to about 57,000.

Examiner feedback

This is a strong Band 7.5 performance. The writer clearly understands the data and organizes the comparison logically. To reach Band 8.0, the overview needs to be more precise regarding the contrasting trends (births falling vs. deaths rising in the latter half), and minor proofreading errors should be eliminated.

Task Achievement - 7

- The response covers all key features, including the starting points, peaks, the crossover point, and the future projections. - A clear overview is provided, correctly identifying the intersection of the two lines in the future. - There is a slight inaccuracy in the overview: it states both rates witnessed an upward trend 'throughout' the timeframe, whereas the birth rate is projected to decline significantly in the second half. - Data is generally accurate, though some figures are slightly approximate (e.g., the birth rate peak in 1961).

Coherence & Cohesion - 8

- Information is logically organized into an introduction, overview, and two separate body paragraphs for birth and death rates. - Cohesive devices (e.g., 'Notably', 'Regarding', 'Thereafter') are used effectively to guide the reader. - Progression within paragraphs is clear, moving chronologically from 1901 to 2101. - There is a minor repetition error at the very end of the text ('to about 57,000.to about 57,000').

Lexical Resource - 7

- A good range of vocabulary is used ('oscillated', 'mortality rate', 'natural population decrease', 'soaring'). - Most collocations are appropriate, though 'accounting for roughly 40,000' is slightly misused (usually used for percentages/proportions rather than raw totals). - Terms like 'chart-high level' are a bit informal but clear.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 7

- A variety of complex structures is used, including passive voice for predictions ('it is anticipated that', 'is forecast to'). - Tense usage is generally correct, distinguishing between past data and future projections. - There are minor grammatical slips, such as 'though minor oscillations' (needs a verb or 'despite') and the typo at the end of the essay.

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