The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.

Australian Workforce Percentage in Five Industries 1962-2012 - IELTS Writing Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

A student's answer to this task, and the feedback on it

Written by an IELTSX user under exam conditions and published unedited and anonymously. Band 7 · 196 words.

The line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian workers across five different industries - services, manufacturing, agriculture, construction and mining - from 1962 to 2012.

Overall, among all categories, services accounted for the highest percentage throughout the period, whereas mining represented the smallest proportion. Meanwhile, manufacturing experienced a considerable decrease over the period.

The figure for services stood at roughly 53% in 1962 before rising gradually to around 73% by 1990, after which it increased slightly to nearly 78% over the following 22-year period. Turning to those manufacturing, the figure beagn the period at about 25% in 1962 prior to remaining almost unchanged over the next decade. After some fluctuations, the figure ended the period at 10% by 2012.

As for agriculture and construction, the figures showed opposite trends throughout the period, with the figures standing at approximately 11% and 9%, respectively, at the beginning of the period. Subsequently, the figures showed a fluctuations and finished at roughly 10% and 5%. Finally, the figure for mining started at just 1% at the beginning of the period before showing fluctuations to around 3% over the 23 years and remained almost unchanged at the same proportion by 2012.

Examiner feedback

The response successfully covers all requirements of the task with a clear overview and accurate data selection. The structure is logical, and a good mix of complex sentences is used, though minor typos slightly affect precision.

Task Achievement - 7

- All requirements of the task are satisfied, covering all five industries across the given time frame. - Key features and trends are clearly identified, selected, and presented with supporting data. - A clear overview is provided, highlighting the main trends successfully.

Coherence & Cohesion - 7

- Paragraph organization is logical with a clear introduction, overview, and grouped body paragraphs. - A good range of cohesive devices is used, though some transitional phrases feel slightly mechanical. - Information progresses clearly with appropriate referencing throughout the response.

Lexical Resource - 7

- Vocabulary is adequate and appropriate for the task, using synonyms for data representation like proportion and figures. - Some minor typographical spelling errors occur, but they do not impede overall communication. - Collocations are mostly natural, though some phrases could be more varied.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy - 7

- A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used effectively throughout the text. - Minor typos are present, such as "beagn" instead of "began" and "those manufacturing" instead of "manufacturing". - Grammar and punctuation are generally well controlled with frequent error-free sentences.

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